Sometimes, we only understand the significance of a season after we have walked far beyond it.

As I write this in 2026, I find myself looking back at 2019 with a different perspective. At the time, I thought I was simply trying to become healthier and understand myself better. I did not realize that what began that year would become part of a much longer journey of learning how to listen to my body, understand my emotions, and care for myself more consciously.

In many ways, 2019 was the beginning.

And now, years later, I find myself entering another chapter of that same journey.

The Wake-Up Call

The story actually begins in late 2018.

During November and December of that year, I seemed to be sick every other week. Flu, colds, cough, sore throat. There were periods when I simply could not do much because my body was demanding rest.

I remember thinking, "How can I do all the things I want to do if I am not healthy?"

A good friend challenged me with a simple thought: I could become healthier.

My initial reaction was, "Yes, I have the power to choose."

But then I had to pause.

What did "healthy" actually mean for me?

Society has so many ideas about what health should look like. Being lean. Looking sexy. Having six-pack abs. Following the latest diet. Exercising a certain number of times a week.

But none of those definitions really resonated with me.

I wasn't necessarily looking for a particular body shape. I wanted to feel well. I wanted to have energy. I wanted to be able to do the things that mattered to me. I wanted to feel at home in my own body.

That distinction became important.

Because perhaps becoming healthier isn't about becoming the version of ourselves that society tells us we should be.

Perhaps it is about discovering what health means for us.

 Why Do We Find It So Difficult to Let Go?

Interestingly, my exploration of health also made me look at something much deeper: the way I respond to life.

As human beings, we have a tendency to blame other people when things go wrong. Have you noticed that in others? Or perhaps, if we are honest, we have noticed it in ourselves as well.

Think about those seemingly harmless discussions that aren't even arguments or debates.

Why do we want our views and opinions to be the correct ones?

Why is it so difficult to compromise?

Sometimes, we will even pause a conversation just to consult our best friend, Google, to prove that we are right.

And if Google proves us wrong?

Well, let's be honest. We don't always rush to announce that discovery.

But if Google confirms that we are right, don't we suddenly become very eager to show the other person our phone, accompanied by that little smirk that says, "See? I told you so."

It sounds funny because it is.

But underneath that seemingly innocent need to be right can be something worth exploring.

Why do we need to win?

Why is it so hard to simply let the conversation go?

Why does someone else being right sometimes feel like it means we are wrong, diminished, or somehow less?

Perhaps it can point to rigidity, a need for control, a desire for validation, or even old wounds that taught us we always had to defend ourselves.

And if we are living this way every day, constantly defending, proving, controlling, and resisting, isn't that exhausting?

Perhaps our bodies feel that exhaustion too.

When the Body Becomes the Teacher

In 2019, health became one of the areas I consciously wanted to explore. Around that time, I read two books by Louise Hay, "Heal Your Body" and "You Can Heal Your Life".

Her approach introduced me to the idea of "dis-ease" and the possibility that our physical experiences may sometimes be connected with emotional patterns, beliefs, or experiences that have remained unaddressed.

Today, I have a more nuanced understanding of this. Physical health is complex, and symptoms and illnesses can have many causes. Emotional well-being is one part of the bigger picture, not necessarily the whole explanation.

But at that point in my journey, the idea opened a door for me.

Instead of only asking, "How do I get rid of this?"

I started asking: "What is my body trying to tell me?"

That was a very different question.

The Wounds We Thought We Had Already Healed

"You Can Heal Your Life" also made me reflect on our childhood experiences and what is now known as Inner Child work.

When we become adults, we sometimes assume that we have already overcome our past wounds simply because we have learned how to function despite them.

We learned to ignore certain memories.

We learned to put up walls.

We learned not to talk about certain things.

We learned to "move on."

But sometimes, what we call moving on is really a coping mechanism that helped us survive.

That doesn't mean we are broken.

It simply means that some parts of us may still need our attention.

Healing can take time. More importantly, it takes courage.

It takes courage to admit to ourselves that something still hurts. It takes courage to seek support. It takes courage to look at the parts of ourselves we would rather avoid and meet them with compassion instead of judgment.

For me, this became an important part of understanding that healing isn't about pretending the darkness isn't there.

It is about being willing to sit with it long enough to understand what it is trying to teach us.

When I Started Looking at My Body Differently

As I continued exploring my own healing expression, I became interested in energy points in the body, particularly the chakras, as well as crystals, essential oils, meditation, and acupressure.

These became complementary practices through which I explored self-awareness and intentional living.

One personal experience from 2019 remains particularly memorable.

That October, I experienced a menstrual cycle that was remarkably different from what I had become accustomed to. I had previously experienced PMS and discomfort around my cycle quite regularly.

Looking back, I remember how much resentment I had directed toward my own body.

Whenever my period came, I would complain about it. I would question why I still had it when I was already getting older and believed that my "baby factory" was already shutting down.

Then something shifted.

Instead of fighting my body, I began practicing acceptance.

I started appreciating my body for what it had carried me through. I became more conscious of the words I used toward myself and began replacing frustration with gratitude and criticism with love.

That particular experience surprised me.

The doubting Thomas in me was genuinely intrigued.

I couldn't say that changing my thoughts was the sole reason for what happened. Our bodies are wonderfully complex, and many factors can influence how we feel from one cycle to another.

But it gave me something important to reflect upon.

How we speak to ourselves matters.

How we relate to our bodies matters.

And sometimes, our body deserves our curiosity rather than our criticism.

Looking Back from 2026

Now, several years have passed since that chapter of my life.

And I realize that 2019 wasn't the year I "figured out" healing.

It was the year I became more curious about it.

That curiosity has continued to evolve.

My understanding of health today is much broader than it was then. I no longer see healing as simply finding one practice, one book, one affirmation, or one solution that will somehow make everything better.

Healing, for me, has become an ongoing practice of awareness.

It is listening to my body.

It is noticing my emotions.

It is becoming aware of patterns.

It is knowing when I need to rest.

It is learning when I need to move.

It is being more conscious about what I put into my body.

It is also knowing when something requires professional medical attention rather than trying to spiritually or emotionally explain everything away.

There is wisdom in embracing both.

A New Chapter of Balance

And this is where I find myself today.

The healing journey continues, but this time, I feel I am being invited to look at different layers of myself.

There are emotions and underlying issues that I may still need to face, accept, forgive, and love.

There are patterns that perhaps served me once but may no longer serve the person I am becoming.

And there are physical choices I am becoming more conscious of as well.

This chapter is reminding me once again that it is all about balance.

I am becoming more open to eating more vegetables and exploring vegetarian dishes, not because I suddenly believe I need to give up everything I have always eaten, but because I want to create more variety and nourishment in the way I eat.

I am also exploring practices such as intermittent fasting and finding what works for my own body and lifestyle. Although I have already discovered that one wellness recommendation is definitely not for me: I cannot drink black coffee! Some things still need a little negotiation. 😊

I am also becoming more intentional about movement.

Working for long stretches without getting up is easy to do, especially when we are focused on something we love. But my body reminds me that I cannot spend hours sitting and expect it to remain happy.

So I am exploring simple stretching, short bursts of movement, and little breaks throughout the workday.

Nothing complicated.

Just small acts of remembering that I have a body.

My Body, My Physical Vehicle

Perhaps one of the biggest realizations in this new chapter is this:

My body is the physical vehicle through which I experience this life.

It is through this body that I work, create, connect, love, serve, learn, laugh, rest, and experience the world.

It is also through this body that I am able to do the work and service I feel called to do while I am here on Earth.

So caring for my body is not separate from my purpose.

It is part of my purpose.

For a long time, many of us learn to treat self-care as something optional. Something we do after everyone else has been taken care of. Something we earn after finishing our work.

But perhaps we have it backwards.

Taking care of ourselves helps us remain present for the people, work, and purpose that matter to us.

I don't want to wait until my body is completely exhausted before I listen.

I want to learn to listen while it is still whispering.

The Healing Journey Continues

Looking back at the woman I was in 2019, I feel tenderness for her.

She was learning.

She was questioning.

She was experimenting.

She was trying to understand what it meant to become healthier, while also discovering that health could mean so much more than what society had taught her.

And I am still learning.

The difference is that today, I understand that there may never be a final destination called "healed."

There will simply be new layers to discover.

New lessons.

New seasons.

New invitations to come home to ourselves.

Perhaps that is what healing really is.

Not becoming perfect.

Not eliminating every struggle.

Not reaching a point where nothing ever hurts again.

But becoming willing to listen.

To pause.

To make different choices.

To ask better questions.

To meet ourselves with compassion.

And to love the body that carries us through this beautiful, messy, sometimes challenging journey called life.

A Soul Nudge for Empaths

If your body has been asking for your attention lately, perhaps you don't have to wait for it to shout.

Pause and listen.

What might it be asking you to notice?

What emotion needs to be acknowledged?

What pattern needs to be released?

What part of yourself needs more compassion?

And perhaps most importantly, what small act of love can you offer your body today?

You don't have to change everything at once.

Start gently.

Drink water.

Eat a nourishing meal.

Take the stretch break.

Go for that short walk.

Rest when you need to.

Ask for help when you need it.

And when your body speaks, listen.

Because your body is not simply carrying you through life.

It is carrying you toward the work, love, connection, and service that your soul came here to experience.

And that, for me, is where the healing journey continues.

✨ Thank you for reading. If this piece resonated, you may enjoy wandering through more stories at Pandora's Box,  a growing collection of stories and reflections for the empath's soul.  Come, browse a while.